StephanieCoals

Ok so Adam is going to stay in jail for a few days till monday!!!!I wont be able to visit!

So I was practicly dragged to Rainbows to go shopping for some blouses/shirts and ended up spending only 40 bucks on 6 really cute t's.Rainbow is awsome!I go there sometimes to pass the time but decided to buy a fewthings this time.I think i'll keep going there... it's much cheaper...even though it takes longer to get through the lines than at the bank(10/25min diffrence).

I'm so confused right now,let me explain...Adam(my boyf,if you even want to call him that)is gone for about a day and a half and when he comes back all he does is stand 4 feet away and  say one word:"Hi"...So I give him a confused but half evil look.I think now he is confused too.He is in jail write now...because his court date got moved so he had to spendthe night in jail...I don't know how that stuff works...even though I should b/c Itook a class in criminal justice(made an A+)...He should be bailed out today by his bail bondsman but for some reason is having difficulties doing so!He probably thinks the worst of how our relationship is going,,,maybe i'm over reacting!!!O,well i'll keep you and this blog updated~

Ever since my mother passed away of Cancer of the brain...i've been going through these very weird and confusing personality changes.I seem perfectly content at one point,and the next i'm upset about the littlest tasks,such as cooking,or cleaning.No one else understands...i'm not myself anymore.The things I used to love to do...I don't like anymore and find them rather childish.I do things diffrently and find myself alone locked up in a room somewhere more often than usual.I think about things alot more,and find it hard to think about the future.Everything in the future promises anguish and depression all over again.

Iv'e been reading alot of psycology like books lately...and have been growing considerable interest in them.It's so interesting,the mind of a human,how we react,why we react.I've found that our brain knows what happens before it does actually happen and before we even knowit's going to happen.If that doesn't interest a normal human being,I don't know what will.Here is a list of some of the stories i've enjoyed reading:

  A hunger artist

The metamorphosis

rejection

A dream

the sudden walk

At night

The test

The way home

The vulture(my fav)

give it up

Before the laws

The top

***All by Franz Kafka***

I'm living with my father now.He does everthing he can possibly do wrong...wrong.It's really annoying.I miss living at home with my mother...the weekly trips to starbucks or dairyqueen, must see movies and mcdonalds,book series,...we used to do everything togather...I even miss ahopping for her!:sigh:Why can't he just be more like my mother...use her princibles,morals...jugde as she does...but how can I expect this...there two diffrent people,two diffrent minds.I thought that maybe with my mother passing that I could get him to understand...to learn how to become an actuall father,but now i'm starting to see that this could never happen.He is to stubborn and arrogant.

To begin with my mother(a white women who was born in Nashville,TN on May 24,1967)who became blind at a very young age...and my father(a black orphan named Howard Jose)...who was also born in Nashville on July 12,1967,became blind in one eye after a blow to his right eye.They met in a high school for the blind,where all sorts of horrible stuff happened like suicides,gang fights,and racial tension.My mother,Leigh Anne,eventually became had my older brother(the oldest sibling) on June 9, 1987.They eventually married and then had my older sister Kristen in July of 1988.And me(Stephanie)in August of 1990.After I turned four(1994) we moved to Georgia where she had my little brothers Eric,Nicholas,and Jason(8,11,14).They eventually separated soon after...and we stayed with my mother.

At the beginning of the month I was all hyped up to go out and look for a job,but now it seems that i am becoming lazy ... I haven't even turned in the applications that I have already filled out!I don't really need a job...but it is the summer and I have nothing else to do for an entire month.I'll be enrolled as a senior this coming august!I can't believe I've managed yet again to defy the school systems...the classic cramming in of work at the last minute.It's not that I can't do the work or am to lazy...I just never have the time to do one thing and I eventually forget about it.And it becomes a cycle!O,well,I'll go to technical instead of college!Definitely~....Or maybe I'll just work on graduating from high school next may.

The disease that effects us all at some point everyday.Boredom,the most vile of all boredom is when your waiting to do something that you took a considerable amount of time from your usual routine to obsess over.Well here I am at my computer...anticipating the arrival of the paper view movie Night of champions.The only actor,and yes they are acting,I personally fancy/Like is Matt Hardy(Although I do like his brother Jeff Hardy a hundred time better...he sadly won't be in this show.My brothers,nick,Jason,and Eric(11,14,and 8)are at a church play for their friend Hannah...they went along with Hana's mother,and sister,Angel.